Connecting with People
Prepared from The Likeability Factor by Tim Sanders
Sometimes we are so focused on efficiency and productivity that we forget that Likeability is our lifeline.
People who have a high L-Factor tend to land jobs more easily, find friends quickly and have happier relationships.
People who are unlikable suffer from high job, friend and spouse turnover.
If you harness your L-Factor you will harness one of life’s most powerful forces. You will see it have an impact everywhere you go and you will wonder why you never thought about it before. You will discover that nothing feels better and is better than achieving the highest L-factor possible.
Likeable People bring out the best in others. Likeable people get recognized. Likeable people outperform. Likeable people enjoy better health.
Likeability impacts the Choices that impact your life
The choices you make may not shape your life as much as the choices people make about you. Most people make choices in a predictable way. They listen, decide whether or not to believe what they have heard and then they assign value to what they have heard.
During the listening step your L-factor helps get your message across. They hear you, they think it over, and they remember it later.
When people like the source of a message they tend to trust the message or at least try to find a way to believe it. The positive bias created by likeability turns a skeptic in the congregation into the member of the choir. Likeable people get the benefit of the doubt.
When you are likeable the promise of good emotional times accompanies you. You are often the best choice with the fewest costs. Your likeable personality will always improve your overall value. By reducing uncertainties, it allows your benefits to shine in the final analysis.
How to Raise your L-Factor? – Understand and practice the key factors of Likeability
- Friendliness is the most fundamental element of likeability. It is the first thing we consider when we meet someone. Warmth comfort and safety are the questions the brain is asking. Friend or foe?
- If you perceive someone likes you, you are more likely to be friendly. Rude or angry outbursts lower likeability.
- Your smile is a powerful likeability tool.
- When you are friendly others want to be with you and they want to help you succeed.
- Relevance is the ability to go beyond being friendly and connect with a person’s needs and interests. It is the extent to which the other person connects to your life interests, wants and needs.
- Connect with what people need and you will be relevant to them
- Relevance is strongest when a personal value proposition you offer connects with a person’s wants and needs.
- As you connect with a persons wants and needs your L-Factor increases
- Once people have determined you are friendly and relevant they want to know….Does this person understand me? Can they see things from my point of view? Can they feel what I feel?
- Empathy is where real development begins in our business
- Ability to perceive another’s internal frame of reference with accuracy.
- Understanding of situations feelings and motives.
- Imagine yourself in the place of another and from that vantage point be able to understand his or her feelings desires ideas and or actions good or bad. It is about experiencing their feelings. What is it like to be in their shoes?
- Sympathy can be faked. Empathy cannot.
- Take the time to find out how people feel. This one idea can be the difference between failure and success in almost any endeavor.
- Your ability to receive other people’s signs and translate them correctly can be one the biggest contributors to your L-Factor throughout life.
- Finally people will ask…Is this person real, genuine, true and/or authentic?
- Realness is being true to self and others. Real people know their roots heritage and history. They remember where they came from and who brought them to the dance. They know their values and they behave accordingly.
- Realness equals sincere trust
- Lying hypocrisy and insincerity are L- Factor Killers. When these conditions are present the opportunity for real trust is squashed.
- Once a lie is perceived a person is never quite as likeable
- Hypocrisy kills credibility
- Insincerity makes us feel as though people do not trust us or respect us enough to tell the truth
- We have a strong psychological need for realness.
Your Daily Test?
- Have you made someone smile today?
- Who did you really connect with today?
- What did you do to increase your L-Factor?